Kimmode Is ‘Drained’ And Tired of Her Own Famewhoring
Share on Tumblr Fame has been Kimmode’s elixir of life for as long as she’s lived at the whorehouse. However, Kimmode went and got pregnant by Princess Kanye who is averse to media attention. So,...
View ArticleKimmode ‘Begged’ Princess Kanye To Spend 10 Minutes At Televised Baby Shower
Share on Tumblr Every living relative who has ever worked a day in the whorehouse showed up for the Keeping up with the Kardashians season eight photo shoot. Everyone, that is, except for Princess...
View ArticleKimmode’s Family Actually Don’t Remember Princess Kanye’s Pretty Face
Wendy Williams has been saying it since about 10 minutes after Kimmode followed Cosmo’s advice and poked holes in her condoms to keep her man, but the reality star is going to forget her baby daddy’s...
View ArticleDetective Humphries’ Ex-Girlfriend Claims To Have Receipts on Kimmode’s...
Because there’s no real reason to talk about her anymore this is the perfect time for Detective Humphries’ ex-girlfriend to remember where she hid the receipts for Kimmode’s affairs of YEARS with...
View ArticleOf Course Princess Kanye ‘Didn’t Look Happy To Be’ At The Baby Shower
Surprising everyone who assumed he’d forgotten there was even a baby for whom to have a baby shower, Princess Kanye deigned to turn up at the last minute, while hiding his face (above left), and still...
View ArticleDetective Humphries Officially Quit Kimmode
Head of BRANDNEWINFORMATION P.D., so called because it only investigates things that have already been solved like the mystery of whether Kim Kardashian cheated throughout every serious relationship...
View ArticleKimmode Doesn’t Know Whether to Take Orders From Her Pimp or Princess Kanye
Kim Kardashian has been an appreciating asset of the whorehouse since 1980 when Kris Jenner realised there was money in gold and so ordered all her girls to take golden showers. She hasn’t had to think...
View ArticleBrody Jenner Says Bruce Jenner Stopped Being A Parent When He Married Kris...
The whorehouse has been in the black since about 1980 and somewhere around that time Bruce Jenner moved in with Kris Jenner so she could make more kids to pimp. It’s pretty obvious that the Kardashians...
View ArticleKimmode Didn’t Attend Princess Kanye’s Birthday Party
It was Princess Kanye’s 36th annual special fairy princess day on June 8 for which he obviously threw a party to which he obviously invited close friends and family. And to which he obviously didn’t...
View ArticleWorking At The Whorehouse Is The Best Education Kris Jenner Could Offer Her Kids
This is supposed to be Kris Jenner’s face on what’s supposed to be Kris Jenner’s body on the cover of The Hollywood Reporter. She is promoting her daytime talk show, Kris, that hasn’t even aired yet...
View ArticleKimmode’s Fake Wedding To Princess Kanye Will Be ‘Private & Smaller’
Kimmode made it clear that because the guy’s name opened so many doors she intended to have kids with Princess Kanye and make him her third ex-husband some day. She did the first part and made Cosmo...
View ArticleKimmode Didn’t Realise Getting Pregnant For Attention Wasn’t Like Getting...
Kimmode married Detective Humphries because she was being paid to do so by the same E! who did re-shoots for the proposal because the first take wasn’t ‘pretty’ enough. She was paid millions of dollars...
View ArticleKim Kardashian Gives Birth in June After Lying About Being Due in July...
Kim Kardashian just gave birth following a series of reports making this the first time the Daily Mail and OK Magazine have been right about anything. It was reported about two hours ago that...
View ArticleEveryone Sounds Surprised Kim Kardashian’s Daughter Looks Like Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian is someone’s mother after doing whatever it is she did Friday to time the birth with the one day Kanye West happened to be in town. West was supposed to be at his album listening party...
View ArticleKimmode’s Cervix Got The Re-Shoot It’s Been Waiting For
I’m choosing to believe that whatever Kimmode did during the movie she released for attention in 2007 was so in-depth that, when watched in HD, you could make out her cervix. And, if you squint, an...
View ArticleKim Kardashian Told PEOPLE Mag A Different Lie Than The Lie She Told TMZ
This weekend when Kimmode gave birth to the baby I’m choosing to believe came out of the womb peeing, I mentioned a Page Six item from April that said the reality star lied about her due date....
View ArticleKim Kardashian Wants You To Think She Weighed ’115 Pounds’ Before Getting...
For reference, this is what Kim Kardashian looked like immediately prior to following Cosmo’s best advice and trapping Princess Kanye with a baby. During her pregnancy, in fairness, the tabloids lost...
View ArticleKim Kardashian Did Name Her Kid ‘North West’ (UPDATE: Confirmed, Also...
There have been conflicting reports about what to call the baby that Princess Kanye is going to be paying for figuratively and literally for the rest of his life. HollywoodLife claimed the baby girl...
View ArticleIt Was All A Dream: No, Princess Kanye Didn’t Propose To Kimmode
Previously, when Princess Kanye took Kimmode away for a romantic birthday weekend in Rome, Kris Jenner and Ryan Seacrest got together to announce the couple’s presumed ‘engagement’ and gave interviews...
View ArticleKimmode & Princess Kanye Made Up A Dumb Reason for Giving Their Kid A Dumb Name
Back in March, The Sun and In Touch Weekly Magazine both reported that Kimmode lost a bet during a drinking game at the whorehouse and so planned to give her child a novelty name. Almost immediately...
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